Scott's Year in Shirts #211 - "A Father's Lawn Work"

Here's all you need to know about me... Not a father... Don't live in a place that has a lawn. Don't do yard work - allergies keep me from it.... Refuses to let anybody keep me from wearing a t-shirt, regardless of the authenticity of its contents.

Scott's Year in Shirts #210 - "Monarch Fishing Camp"

My astute brother-in-law (let's call him Fritz, I do) pointed out today that this is the second "Monarch" t-shirt I've worn this year, the other being a "Day Camp" shirt. In all honesty, I had no idea. Too many shirts, I tell you. Can't keep track of them all. Wonder where the L.A. Valley College fishing camp is held, along that concrete slab they call the L.A. River? The only thing you're likely to catch down there is a hypodermic needle.

Scott's Year in Shirts #209 - "The Beatles, Rolling Stone"

Today in Beatles history - 1965 - 'Help!' premiere at the London Pavilion. The Beatles and Brian attend. After party at the Dorchester Hotel. 1969 - Recording: 'Come Together' (overdub onto take 9); 'Sun King'/'Mean Mr Mustard' (overdub onto take 35). Today in Scott's History - woke up at 10 a.m., rubbed Ben Gay on my legs. Trip to Sal Val followed by an Arby's Roast Beef sandwich. Cosby Show, Porto's. Sleep.

Scott's Year in Shirts #208 - "Periodic Table of Elements"

"Periodically" I like to wear this shirt just to make myself look smart (the glasses alone don't quite do the trick). If only those who saw me in this shirt knew the truth, that I dropped out of chemistry class three weeks in and never looked back, and that I couldn't tell a Lanthinoid from an Actinoid if you put them both in my hands and told me exactly which was which. I'm such a boron.

Scott's Year in Shirts #207 - "Virginia is for Lovers"

I run across these shirts quite a bit on my thrift store shopping adventures. I found this particular shirt at the "It's A Wrap" wardrobe store in Burbank. Supposedly it was used in the film "I Love You Man", though I've never been able to spot it in the film. I wonder if people in Virginia actually wear these shirts, or if it's just a tourist thing?

Scott's Year in Shirts #206 - "We're All Winners"

Here's an old Corsicana ISD shirt that I used to wear a lot back when Carol and I first got together. Since her maiden name is "Winner", I always appreciated the play on words that this shirt provided me. It's also interesting because it shows something that you sadly don't see very often in Corsicana, white kids and black kids playing together.

Scott's Year in Shirts #205 -"Waikoloa"..

After the shellacking my softball team took today in a tournament, I'd love nothing more than to relax on the beaches of Waikoloa with a pretty girl at my side (my wife) and a fruity beverage in my hand. But alas, here I am at The Salvation Army Store in Van Nuys with a busted kneecap and a basket full of nothing.

Scott's Year in Shirts #204 - "Wolf Pack"

I hope this shirt doesn't make people think I care about those stupid Twilight movies. Unlike Taylor Lautner, I prefer to keep my shirt on 97% of the time. The other 3 percent is when I go out jogging in public. Gotta keep the ladies' heads turning.

Scott's Year in Shirts #203 - "Del Monte Circus Days"

Here I am standing outside the Regal Cinemas at LA Live getting ready for a free screening of "Dinner For Schmucks". I feel like a schmuck in this shirt, mainly because I was completely unaware that Del Monte ever had an ad campaign that featured action heroes. I feel like I really missed out on something cool here. Were there action figures packed into ketchup bottles or something?

Scott's Year in Shirts #202 - "Girl Scouts"

Two free tacos. Jalapeño poppers. A large drink. One spicy chicken sandwich. These are all drunken Jack in the Box necesseties. The Girl Scouts know. They sell cookies. They make shirts with beaded hearts. They rule.

Scott's Year in Shirts #201 - "Tasok Family Reunion"

What a depressing family reunion. Come on, Tasoks. You couldn't get anyone to come outside for a group photo, and so you went with a crappy photo of a house for your family reunion t-shirts? Come on! This was July 2001 --- 9/11 hadn't even happened yet! What are you hiding from? Put down your corn dog, grab your heathen children by their ears and drag them outside Aunt Lila's house. Jerry brought his camera!

Scott's Year in Shirts #200 - "Budwisconsin"

It's a momentous occasion here on the ol' blog, as we hit our 200th shirt of the year. As we look forward to the next 165 shirts, we also look back on the first 200 with a little bit of nostalgia. We also ask ourselves why we are speaking in a plural fashion, since there is just one of us. Wisconsin is the home of Miller Brewing Company, and according to my friend Josh (a Madison native), Budweiser is absolutely hated there. So I won't be wearing this shirt in Wisconsin, which is fine, cause I'm not going there anyway.

Scott's Year in Shirts #199 - "Philadelphia"

Here's one for all you crack addicts out there.

Scott's Year in Shirts #198 - "Shaklee"

I used to wear this shirt about once a week until someone told me that this company makes baby food. I then started wearing it three times a week. I think I won a poker tournament in this shirt once, but I don't really remember.

Scott's Year in Shirts #197 - "Dick Tracy"

So the 16-year-old kid ringing up my purchases at Target tonight took a look at my shirt and said "hey, I remember that movie. It came out when I was a little kid." Uh, yeah, probably when you were negative four, dude. We're talking 1990. Warren Beatty. Madonna. Charlie Korsmo. I had the action figures. I had the poster. I hadn't seen the movie yet. Then I saw the movie. Uh, yeah. Not a very good movie. I haven't seen it since then. I'll bet it hasn't aged well.

Scott's Year in Shirts #196 - "ICM"

This shirt makes me feel like the guy behind the guy behind the guy. One of the playmakers. An industry powerhouse. The guy who's got lunch with Marty at 1:00 and dinner with Steven at 7:30. Or just some loser with a $200,000 education that works in the mailroom.

Scott's Year in Shirts #195 - "University of Okoboji Soccer 1985"

I've had this shirt for a long time and never knew much about it's origins. According to Wikipedia, the University of Okoboji is not a real college at all, but instead the fictional creation of some dudes in Iowa who didn't have anything better to do. So was there a soccer tournament in 1985, or was that a hoax as well? I don't know and I don't care.

Scott's Year in Shirts #194 - "Death Cab For Cutie"

Couple hours late on this one, so sue me. Had a softball game tonight. We lost. Then I got drunk. Then I went home and accidentally used my brother in law's toothbrush. Sorry, Ross. If it's any consolation, I went 3-4 tonight and scored three runs. You'll probably still want to get a new toothbrush.

Scott's Year in Shirts #193 - "Javva The Hutt"

"Javva The Hutt" is an actual coffee shop located at the ILM offices in George Lucas' mega-castle in Marin County (thanks, internet). I can only imagine the ridiculous drinks that appear on the menu. Are the sizes Jawa, Wookie and Rancor? Does the barista have to dress like Slave Leia? Do they serve Boba? Can you get a bagel toasted on the "dark" side? Feel free to come up with your own terrible jokes, because I'm fresh out.

Scott's Year in Shirts #192 - "Murder She Wrote Crew '90"

What can I say about my days as a crew member on the set of "Murder She Wrote" back in the early 90's that I haven't said a million times already? Angela Lansbury was a babe, plain and simple. And it was my job to make sure that she got a plain bagel with light cream cheese and a foot massage at the beginning of each shooting day. When you're 10 years old, you'll take any job you can get.

Scott's Year in Shirts #191 - "Elu Hea Olu"

How does an unemployed Texan living in Los Angeles spend a Saturday? By taking his wife to a Danish tourist town while wearing an Estonian beer shirt. Solvang was a blast, if eating Danish pancakes and looking at windmills is your idea of a blast.

Scott's Year in Shirts #190 - "New Zealand, First To See The Sun"

This is me standing outside the Arclight Cinema just moments after seeing the film "The Kids Are All Right," which is a neat little movie about the difficulties of being an old lesbian couple. It didn't quite resonate with me, but I did enjoy seeing Mark Ruffalo mumble his way through all of his scenes. I was sort of hoping he was going to play one of the lesbians, oh well. This of course has nothing to do with New Zealand or its proximity to the sun.

Scott's Year in Shirts #189 - "Maxwell"

There are two things I've always wanted in life, to be a famous R&B singer and to have my own mononym. Sadly, neither of these things have yet to transpire, so I must continue to live vicariously through Maxwell. Perhaps one day I too will be able to stand in the rain, have my photo taken and make women swoon, all at the same time.

Scott's Year in Shirts #188 - "Garden of Love / Vitello's"

July 7 was the big 3, my third wedding anniversary. Back on 7/7/07, the wife and I eloped in Vegas at The Garden of Love chapel in Sin City. To celebrate, I decided to take her to Vitello's, the Italian Restaurant in Studio City best known for being the location where Robert Blake murdered his wife in the parking lot. Who says romance is dead?

Scott's Year in Shirts #187 - "St. Robert's creepy clown festival"

If I look sleepy it's because I just woke up from a power nap. Got a big softball game in a couple hours, and I always like to wake up in time to get good and sloshed before driving to Glendale. I don't really remember putting this shirt on this morning, which leads me to believe that I must have put it on last night.

Scott's Year in Shirts #186 - "The Big Guns"

I got this shirt back in 2007 when I saw Jenny Lewis and The Watson Twins open for Death Cab. The thing I remember most about acquiring this shirt was going to Irvine, a place I never want to visit again if I can help it. Irvine is literally the white person's answer to Los Angeles. Housing developments follow strip malls follow housing developments follow more strip malls, all containing a Walgreens.  There's no smog and very little crime. It's an oasis of vanilla, and I prefer rocky road.

Scott's Year in Shirts #185 - "Happy Birthday America"

Happy birthday to America and Franklin Horvath. Be careful, and don't blow your hand off. That goes for the both of you.

Scott's Year in Shirts #184 - "America's the Greatest!"

When you love America as much as I do, you don't just show it on July 4, you also show it on July 3. Because without America, there would be no internet. There would be no Pepsi. There would be no Lee Greenwood. This is what makes America "the greatest." So make yourself a t-shirt to show your pride. It should clearly be homemade, contain as little thought as possible and also show some type of intolerance. It's the American way!

Scott's Year in Shirts #183 - "Canoga Park Booster Club"

Where I come from, Dr. Pepper has the market cornered on high school booster clubs. They do things a little bit differently at Canoga Park High School, where apparently Bud Light is the drink of choice. Wonder if it's available in the vending machines or just at the concession stands at the football games?

Scott's Year in Shirts #182 - "You Are Nothing Without Your Robot Car"

This was one pop culture reference that completely missed my radar. Apparently, at some point in 2004, David Hasselhoff was at a Brian Wilson concert when some drunk dude spotted him and proclaimed exactly what my shirt says. Not sure why they chose a Lebaron as the car for the ensuing t-shirt. Wasn't Kitt a Trans Am?

Scott's Year in Shirts #181 - "Paradise"

Sometimes I like to throw on the old Paradise t-shirt, walk down to North Hollywood High School and see if I can't find some punk kid to take to school on the basketball court. If they're in grade 7 or under, I sometimes win. You don't see that every day at the Calabasas Rec Center.