Scott's Year in Shirts #238-242 - "The Move"

Sorry for the delay in posting. It's hard to keep a daily t-shirt blog going when you're moving cross country! We're not quite settled in yet, but I've found the time to post the last five days worth of shirts. Here we have Mayor McCheese in honor of all the terrible fast food I've eaten in the past 72 hours, the Cayman Islands, where I wish I was instead, an armadillo reading a book in honor of all the road kill I've seen, A Little Creativity, which is required to stay sane during a 24-hour drive, and a shirt dedicated to ketchup in honor of my first Whataburger in over a year!

Scott's Year in Shirts #238 - "John McCain For President"

If I spent as much money as John McCain did to win that primary, I would've won that primary. So here's a shirt to remind you of your previous failure, Senator McCain. You're old and out of touch. Please stop taking up space in my brain. I want to think about more important things, like Sour Patch Kids.

Scott's Year in Shirts #237 - "Retired"

While I would love to have the house in L.A., the ranch in Texas and the condo on Martha's Vineyard, my eventual retirement will probably be something like this t-shirt. This is what can happen if you choose a creative path in life. No regrets, baby. No regrets.  

Scott's Year in Shirts #236 - "38 Special"

I just love how everyone on this shirt seems so happy to be in a terrible southern rock band. This shirt is from their heyday, but Wikipedia tells me these old geezers are still trucking around the country playing state fairs and shit. With album titles like "Special Delivery," "Bone Against Steel" and "Drivetrain," you'd think you were listening to a porno soundtrack. I would actually prefer that.

Scott's Year in Shirts #235 - "Mrazmataz"

Hey look, it's a homemade Jason Mraz t-shirt. Can I take it off now? Please? Whew. OK. Now I need to take a shower and listen to some actual music.

Scott's Year in Shirts #233/234 - California/Texas

Since I missed yesterday's posting (darn you alcohol), today is a two-for-one deal. And since the reason I missed yesterday's post was because I was busy at my going away party, I thought the two shirts should represent where I am and where I'm going. And while I'm not exactly moving to San Antonio, it was the best I could do on such short notice.

Scott's Year in Shirts #232 - "I Work Out"

It's true. I work out... math problems, that is. "07734." That's a little calculator humor for some of you nerd types out there. I'll pretty much buy any t-shirt that takes an inanimate object and somehow humanizes it. Oh, what am I saying, I'll pretty much buy any t-shirt period.

Scott's Year in Shirts #231- "Prime"

Wow. Someone loved Transformers so much that they had their very own Optimus Prime airbrushed t-shirt made, only to later give it away to Goodwill. They must've seen Transformers 2. I'm thinking of getting a similar shirt made in honor of singer John Prine. It will simply say "Prine," and the drawing will be a robotic version of the man himself.

Scott's Year in Shirts #230 - "The Jesus"

Eight-year-olds, Dude.

Scott's Year in Shirts #229 - "Deep Throat"

Here's one from back in the day. Remember when adult movies actually had plots? Nah, I don't really either. Not to borrow a screenwriting term, but "Deep Throat" was the first, if not only, high concept porno ever produced. I won't give away any spoilers here, but rumor has it that some of the profits from the film went on to help fund the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre."  Thank goodness for high concept porn.

Scott's Year in Shirts #228 - "New Zealand Hip Hop Federation"

According to Wikipedia, New Zealand hip hop consists of four parts: rapping, DJing, graffiti art and breakdancing. I consider myself adept at none of these things. Despite having stumbled my way through many a drunken karaoke version of Snoop Dogg's "Gin & Juice" over the years, I simply don't have what it takes to make it as a professional New Zealand hip hop artist. It takes talent, pedigree, and an extensive knowledge of "Lord of the Rings."

Scott's Year in Shirts #227 - "Uzi does it"

Given that this is post #227, it would be pretty damn sweet if I had a shirt with Jackee Harry on it. Well, I don't, because if one existed, I probably would've found it by now. So in its place is a shirt with both a gun and a pun, and you really can't ask for more than that in this economy.

Scott's Year in Shirts #226 - "Friday the 13th"

I guess it's about an hour and a half late, but it was Friday the 13th yesterday, so it seemed like the appropriate shirt to wear. Here's to you, Jason Voorhees.

Scott's Year in Shirts #225 - "Timerider"

Lyle, a motorcycle champion, is traveling the Mexican desert when he find himself in the action radius of a time machine. He soon finds himself one century back in the past between rapists, thiefs and murderers. A young Fred Ward shines in this action-packed thrill ride from 1982. I likely may own the only remaining promotional item from this stinker.

Scott's Year in Shirts #223 - "The Billy Bush Show"

The fact that this shirt even exists depresses me more than the fact that I actually own it, and I hope that my disdain for all things Billy Bush-related comes through in the expression on my face. There really is no excuse for his career. The thing about "entertainment news" is that it's not news and it sure as shit ain't entertainment. But for some reason, people want to know what color tampon Jennifer Aniston is using this month. I didn't even know they came in colors.

Scott's Year in Shirts #222 - "UTLA"

This is a shirt for someone much more educated than myself, and when I say that, I mean someone with a basic bachelors degree who has passed some type of certification that makes it legal for them to receive pay for teaching others. I once had the notion of teaching high school journalism, but only for the chicks. I eventually decided this wasn't a very good idea at all, so I grew this beard instead.

Scott's Year in Shirts #221 - "Daddy's Girl"

Some dude loved the bond that he and his pug formed so much he went and had this shirt made. How sweet. I have a secret affectation for Pugs myself. I've always wanted one. It would be a male Pug, brown and black, and I would call him Skillet. And he would think I was awesome. But for now I guess I'll just settle for a terrier who prefers his mom to me.

Scott's Year in Shirts #220 - "Bidwell Classic"

Technically the dudes on this shirt are supposed to be "wrestling," but I don't know, it seems like they're really enjoying an intimate moment there. Whatever floats your boat, man.

Scott's Year in Shirts #219 - "Perrin Beitel"

Gettin' ready to move back to Texas means cuttin' the g's off the end of words and wearin' shirts that represent the state, like this one for Perrin Beitel down in San Antonio. The guy working at Discount Tires today told me he couldn't tell I was from the south based on my accent. Guess I gotta work on that too.

Scott's Year in Shirts #218 - "Barton Fink"

I was just having a debate the other day about Coens Brothers movies, so it's coincidental that this shirt pops up in the blog lineup now. I don't care what you say, Griffey, "No Country" is a classic. And yeah, "Barton Fink" ranks up there, but it's no "Lebowski" or "Fargo." And "Burn After Reading" can go burn itself.

Scott's Year in Shirts #217 - "Willie & Phil"

When I first found this shirt I was sort of hoping that it was some kind of super secret album that Willie Nelson made with Phil Spector, but that's not the case at all. "Willie & Phil" was a 1980 American remake of the 1962 Truffaut film "Jules and Jim". It came and went without much fanfare, but for some reason, promotional shirts were made. I'd be willing to bet there's not many of these floating around.

Scott's Year in Shirts #216 - "Cajun Boilers"

Damn, lobsters know how to party. Even when they're getting cooked, they're dancing and drinking martinis and what not. Might as well go out with a bang, especially when you are about to get boiled, have your limbs removed, get dipped in butter and eaten by some backwoods Arkansas brood.

Scott's Year in Shirts #215 - "The Minneapple"

My friend Josh would hate this shirt. He's a big Green Bay Packers fan, and boy do people from Wisconsin hate people from Minnesota. I blame it on Brett Favre. Is that guy going to retire or what?

Scott's Year in Shirts #214 - "Collins Catholic School"

I've had this shirt since I was a chubby little 12-year-old. It amazingly fits me perfectly some 19 years later. This isn't just any old school shirt worn ironically, I actually went to "Collins Catholic School" for grades 6-8. After being raised Southern Baptist, I was sent to Catholic school at age 11 and emerged three years later as a confused agnostic who liked to listen to Pantera. Money well spent? Depends on who you ask, I guess.

Scott's Year in Shirts #213 - "Shark Week"

Live every week like it's shark week, that's what they say anyway. But when shark week finally does roll around, you have to up the ante, and that's where this shirt comes in. Everywhere I went today, people were pointing at my shirt and saying "Shark week!" Actually, no one did that at all, because that would be pretty lame.

Scott's Year in Shirts #212 - "Music Consultants Group, Inc."

When it comes to my shirt collection, this admittedly isn't one of the most fascinating examples, but sometimes you just have to wear a shirt that's comfy, and this one fits the bill. It's old and soft, perfect for kicking back on the couch and watching a really bad Mark Ruffalo movie.