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This Extreme III Sides to Every Story t-shirt has been through the ringer in its 15+ years of existence. Apparently the victim of a nasty rip at some point, it's previous owner loved it so much as to apply a 7-inch mend down the middle of frontman Gary Cherone. In a weird bit of further alteration, the "R" in "story" has also been changed to a "P". Hole hearted!
"Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads." Man, I used to love this movie. Still try to catch it when I see it on. They just don't make em like they used to, and when I say that, I mean I haven't seen another time travel movie with a mother/son incest angle since this one. Come on Hollywood, where's your edge?
If a shirt has a date on it then I'm sort of obligated to wear it on that day, according to the rules I've created for this adventure. In this case, the "Taste of Chicago" took place on today's date way back in 1991. I wasn't there. I was 12, heading into 7th grade. My food tastes were all about microwave pizzas, pizza rolls and various other pizza products. Things really haven't changed much in 19 years.
Took the red line from NoHo to downtown this morning to get a little Nickel Diner action, and some homeless guy on the train platform stopped me and asked me if my shirt was true. He then told me that it's impossible for Germans to tan, in fact, they just get whiter. Good to know. Oh, and I saw this Dish Latino poster and couldn't resist posing. Is it too late to get in on this world cup fever?
Here's a shirt that's been around the block. This original 1987 Metallica Garage Days Re-revisited t-shirt has been in the Honea family since my older brother Kyle acquired it in new condition. It is a true survivor of the hair metal era and will remain a family heirloom to be passed down to future generations of Honea children until it is so thin and filled with holes that its retirement becomes mandatory. It will then be placed in a secret crypt, the location of which only to be revealed in the year 2087, the 100th anniversary ofthe album's release.
Beethoven was deaf and still managed to complete nine symphonies, 32 piano sonatas, 10 violin sonatas, 5 cello sonatas, 16 string quartets and one opera, just to name a few. I have perfectly good hearing and can barely play an F chord after two Margaritas. This is why he is on a t-shirt and I am not.
Well, that was quick. This show hasn't been on the air a month yet and already unwanted promotional t-shirts are showing up at Goodwill. I bought it primarily because I didn't yet have a t-shirt with an iron-on transfer featuring the gun-toting visage of Colin Hanks. And let's be honest, everyone should have at least one of those, right? I've only seen this show while flipping channels. It airs on Friday nights. Who watches TV on Friday nights? That's prime mini-golf time.
This shirt has an inspirational message, telling us we should all "dare to be different," but I'm not sure it really makes much sense. If anything, the theme of the shirt seems to be "Dare to look different." I don't know. Stupid shirt. Stupid Dalmatian. My least favorite dog breed. Too temperamental.
This shirt makes me think of my first year in L.A. I found this in 2006 at the now completely razed Salvation Army store on Van Nuys Blvd in Van Nuys. Man, that store was a dump, but it had a lot of heart. As my time in Los Angeles winds down, it's one of the places I will remember most.
How does a non-dad go about celebrating Father's Day? Same way as every year, by wearing a shirt that says "Best Dad", getting a haircut at Fantastic Sam's and then taking a self portrait in a graffiti-etched mirror in a Ralph's bathroom.
Have you ever seen a guy who is in a band called Private Beach and also knows a guy named Beach wear a shirt that says Beach on an actual beach? Now you have.
So I just went to the Scientology center to get my free stress test and it turns out I'm the perfect candidate, who would've thought? With my stress levels at an all time high, it's a good thing I'm wearing a comfy shirt. The OB Open in the spring of 1985 was a quite an event, a men's golf tournament sponsored by a tampon company. Whoa!
One time I wore this shirt in a yogurt shop and some dude taking my order laughed and said "hey isn't that some dumb movie?" to which I replied, "I don't know, is it?" which made me wonder what's more lame, wearing a t-shirt from some lame movie you didn't know existed or knowing about that movie and working at a yogurt shop.
Sun Valley. Burbank's more urban, slightly depressed, somewhat unappreciated stepbrother to the north. Stunning views of Bob Hope Airport, as seen in the classic 80's film "Paris, TX." L.A. won't ever look like that again.
It was 20 years ago today (according to this shirt) when it all went down. Scott's Space Fantasy. I really wish I could've been there, but I was 11 and had no idea it was happening. I found this shirt at a flea market in Pasadena last year. I found this baby yesterday. They're both pretty cool.
According to the calendar up there on the wall, (I keep it up there pretty high) today is "Flag Day," whatever that means. Anyway, here's a shirt with a flag (when did stamps get so damn pricey?) Let the celebration commence!
I warned everyone about the dangers of "messing" with Texas in a previous t-shirt blog, but today I want to take the warning even further and also let you know that "fiddling" with Texas is also not allowed, according to this t-shirt anyway. This is especially true if you are an armadillo wearing spurs who just happens to be holding a fiddle. If you are doing this in the middle of State Highway 287, there's a fair chance you won't last long.
In honor of my second week in a row without fast food, here's a Whopper shirt to celebrate. Tonight's plans were meant to include a trip to Hollywood Forever to watch "Beetlejuice," but we got there a bit too late so we decided to get drunk in Griffith Park instead.
Connecticut, home of everything you could ever want in a state. According to this shirt, they've got civil war cannons, gazebos, sailboats, churches, hot air balloons and Mark Twain. What else could you ask for?
What can I say about the film "Bottle Rocket" that I haven't said many times before. It's one of the films if not THE film that made me want to become a filmmaker. Between the ages of 18-24, many trips were made to the "Windmill Inn" in Hillsboro, TX to walk around the hotel that was used in the movie. My co-worker Micah later got me this t-shirt, knowing how much I liked the film. That must've been some time in 2003. Still got it, and still wear it!
Here's a shirt that was originally sold 19 years ago to this day according to the June 9, 1991 date printed on it. Not sure if I would've gone to this concert, but the Hollywood Bowl does put on a mean July 4 fireworks show. Get a picnic basket, fill it with wine and weed and have yourself a time!
Man, what I wouldn't give for some pizza right now. Those chicken strips I had at the bar just didn't quite do it for me. I've never had Godfather's Pizza before, and I'm not sure how their t-shirt ended up Los Angeles considering their nearest restaurant is in Barstow (thank you Godfathers.com store locator). I wonder if it's any good? According to their website, they think they're the bees knees. Then again, it's hard to mess up pizza.
Attention race fans! One night only! Rush hour racing! Wolves! Race cars! Wolves racing race cars! Edmonton, Alberta Canada! Race fans! Wolves! Canada! Race cars! Canadians!
Pardon the confused look on my face, I'm working on my "Blue Steel" model face. I've had this shirt for something like 10 years and i've never understood what it means. Do the model games in question refer to actual modeling or is Model Games a company that makes games out of models? Your guess is as good as mine.
Just because you're a monster doesn't mean you can eat all the cookies you want without any consequences. The last thing you want after snacking is cookie regret, or even worse, a cookie hangover. No amount of milk will wash away the feeling of gluttony that consumes you when you indulge to the point of ridiculousness. Then again, life is short and they are just cookies. Eat up!
Who could forget the awesome boxing match of Jones vs. Epilady back in June, 1991? Oh, wait. Those aren't boxers? Then it must be some kind of college event. Let's see... nope. No Epilady College that I can find. So what the hell is an Epilady... do they mean... the woman's hair removal device from the mid 80's? Why would someone fashion a shirt pitting themselves against their own shaver? I'm so confused!
Sometimes I just want to look educated and have people think I'm really good at music, and this is the kind of shirt I tend to wear in that situation. "Yeah, I went to the National Academy of Jazz. I studied classical guitar. Where did you go? Oh, you really DID go the National Academy of Jazz? Uh, yeah, I remember Dr. Isaacs. He taught that class on, uh, advanced music theory?"
The Hotel Alcatraz. Guaranteed room with a view. 24-hour security. Lifetime accomodations. Catering to select clientele. Bars in every room. All drinks are on the rocks. Also, inpenetrable from outside break-ins, unless you are Nick Cage and Sean Connery and the fate of San Francisco depends on it. Cairn Terrier calendar sold separately.
Given that today is the start of hurricane season and there's a huge freaking sinkhole in Guatemala, I thought it would be appropriate to celebrate natural disasters by wearing this promo shirt from the 1996 blockbuster film "Twister." After seeing this film, you'll wish you fell down a sinkhole.
