Scott's Year in Shirts #120 - "Just because I'm moody..."

Some shirts were made to both "be funny" and to "make a statement." Most of the time, these shirts are epic failures that eventually find their way into trailer parks and onto the backs of Tiger Tote employees. This shirt is no different. I wore it down to the post office earlier and got a few eye rolls. It's hard to say if it was because of the shirt or because of the compounded stress of waiting in line for half an hour. Probably both.

Scott's Year in Shirts #119 - "BulletBoys"

Hey man, I heard you were thinking about enlisting in the BulletBoys army. I'll tell you what, once you're in, you're a member for life. I've been in since '91. But you should know... there are only two ways out of the BulletBoys army - death and dishonorable discharge, and by the way I hear you humming "Smooth Up In Ya," I think you know what I'm talkin' about.

Scott's Year in Shirts #118 - "St. Kitts"

Saint Kitts is an island in the West Indies (wherever that is). The west side of the island borders the Caribbean Sea (nice), and the eastern coast faces the Atlantic Ocean (cold?). Together with the island of Nevis, Saint Kitts constitutes one country: the Federation of Saint Kitts and Nevis (too long). The island is known mostly for its palm trees, sailboats and flowers, according to this really thin t-shirt that doesn't do much for my figure.

Scott's Year in Shirts #117 - "Cows may come and cows may go..."

"...but the bull around here goes on forever." You know, just because you have the technology to create an iron-on transfer and a blank yellow t-shirt in which to apply it doesn't necessarily mean you should give in to the urge to explore your creative side. The end result, this terrible shirt from 1980, is a reminder that some ideas are best kept inside our own heads.

Scott's Year in Shirts #116 - "Jose Quervo"

After the financial shellacking I took today at the hands of the state of California (thanks again North Hollywood PD), I could really go for a shot or two of tequila. Jose Quervo's usually a reasonably cheap fix. It's no Don Eduardo or Casa Noble, but it's better than the stuff that comes in the plastic bottle! Come to think of it, that's probably all I can afford now!

Scott's Year in Shirts #115 - "Birmingham High Class of '67"

Birmingham High School is located in the heart of the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles. You've probably never seen it in person, but if you've seen the 1987 body switch film "Like Father Like Son" starring Kirk Cameron and the late Dudley Moore, then you've seen the track around the football film in the big relay race scene. Sally Field went to high school here. So did Terry Gilliam and Jermaine Jackson. According to my t-shirt, the entire class of '67 was white people who drove red cars.

Scott's Year in Shirts #114 - "Seaborn Lee Elementary"

Seaborn Lee is a private elementary school in College Park, GA., not to be confused with the illustrious College Park Mall in Corsicana, TX. And that dark stain to the right of the bulldog is from the sweet potato fries I just ate at Tony's Darts Away bar in Burbank, CA. Over 30 California beers on tap!

Scott's Year in Shirts #113 - "More Cats"

This shirt features all nine cat breeds that are known to exist - Siamese Cat, Long-haired Cat, Alley Cat, Cool Cat, Fat Cat, Scardy (sp) Cat, Sophist Cat, Kitty Cat and Tiger Cat. Don't even act like there are more cat breeds out there. This is it. That's why I bought the shirt, because it was thorough.

Scott's Year in Shirts #112 - "The Comebacks"

In honor of tonight's NFL draft, I thought it was approprate to wear a football-themed t-shirt, so here's a promo shirt from the 2007 box office bomb "The Comebacks" from failed film studio Fox Atomic. The only thing good to come out of this movie existing was a shirt with funnyman David Koechner on it. So here's to the 2010 class of NFL draftees. I hope you don't suck as much as "The Comebacks."

Scott's Year in Shirts #111 - "Spotlighting Progress"

Every year, apparently, the folks at the National Association of College Stores hold their annual convention to discuss the deadly, cutthroat world of college retailing. Textbooks! Sweatshirts! Pencils! Well, back in '81 those crazy party animal bastards crashed Atlanta, GA from April 21-25, leaving a trail of destruction, free book covers and politeness in their wake. Today just happens to be the 19th anniversary of that drunkfest.

Scott's Year in Shirts #110 - "The black white guy"

Here's another homemade doozy. At first glance, this shirt appears to feature a black guy with an afro and some bling, but upon further inspection, one begins to wonder if this isn't actually a white guy who has been photoshopped to become black. Maybe his stupid white friends thought it would be funny to get a photo of their buddy, let's call him Brian, and then give him the blinged-out Photoshop treatment and present him the shirt on his birthday. Well happy birthday, Brian, the lamest white guy who ever lived.

Scott's Year in Shirts #109 - "Happiness is Fort Irwin in My Rear View Mirror"

Today's shirt features a little bit of Army humor. You guys probably had no clue about my extensive military background. And by extensive, I mean the years between the ages of 7-10 when I used to guzzle Cherry Kool Aid, run outside in my underwear and bury G.I. Joe parts in my backyard, which is something I still do on occasion. Though these days, I at least try to put a pair of shorts on.

Scott's Year in Shirts #108 - "Bunnies and Dinosaurs"

Yes, those are glittery bunnies on today's shirt, but the cooler thing is what's behind me. That's the dinosaur from Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Little did we know that just a mile down the road from Morongo was the filming location for not only the dinosaur scenes, but also the diner scene in the film where Pee Wee meets the French waitress. Good times!

Scott's Year in Shirts #107 - "K. Reeder"

So some random girl just walked up to me and asked me if I went to "Laurel Hall" and I said no I bought this shirt at Goodwill. She says I went there for 12 years and I knew "Kelton Reeder." Anything can happen at Coachella. Sorry if I look stoned. It's a concert.

Scott's Year In Shirts #106 - "The softest shirt I own"

Today was one hell of a long day. Sitting in a car for four hours to go two miles wasn't much fun, but we made it to Coachella. Luckily I had the softest shirt I own on to provide me some comfort. This pocket t from the 70's is as thin as they come, and the weird grease stain on the left chest only adds character.

Scott's Year in Shirts #105 - "At Least I'm Not Pregnant"

Well, it's tax day. Maybe you were smart and got back a buttload of money this year, but if you're like me, you claimed "1" and didn't get back jack. But hey, you know what, things could be worse, at least I'm not pregnant! That would be a real double whammy (and also quite a blow to my psyche). And for all of you out there that had to pay taxes in addition to being pregnant, don't worry, you'll get a nice tax break next year.

Scott's Year in Shirts #104 - "Team Building Exercise '99"

Next thing you know we're in the bedroom. You're wearin' that same old ugly, baggy T-shirt with a stain on it that you got from that team-building exercise you did for your old work several years ago "Team Building Exercise '99". I take off my clothes, but I trip over my jeans 'cause I'm still wearing my shoes. But it's okay because I turn it all into a sexy dance.

Scott's Year in Shirts #103 - "Top Achievers Club - Amir"

Sorry about the weird photo. I left the USB connector to my normal camera at my friend's house. These things happen when you go to Buffalo Wild Wings and take advantage of .50 traditional wing night. You become gluttonous and forgetful, and you lose sight of what's important, your blog. I don't know what makes people give up shirts. If was ever considered a Top Achiever, and got a shirt with my name on it, I damn sure wouldn't let it end up at The Salvation Army. But I can't speak for Amir.

Scott's Year in Shirts #102 - "Little Caesar's"

Welcome to Little Caesars', what can I get you? Right now we have the $5 Hot and Ready special, pepperoni or cheese. If you want anything else it's going to be $12.99 and it's going to take an hour. Hell yes we have crazy bread, it's $1.50. No, the crazy sauce doesn't come free. Because it's crazy, that's why! We also have wings now, but no one has ever bought them. Wanna try 'em?

Scott's Year in Shirts #101 - "Me Want Cookie"

Damn it's been a long day for a Sunday. I don't normally do much on days like this, but today was particularly busy for me. I sure could go for a cookie right now to keep me going, I've still got scripts to read. I'll have to settle instead for a Red Bull and a Cadbury Egg. That oughta give me at least two more hours.

Scott's Year in Shirts #100 - "The Beatles, Take Two"

Today in Beatles history... 1962 - Stuart Sutcliffe dies, the band leaves Liverpool for Hamburg, Germany. 1970 - Paul McCartney releases first solo album "McCartney" and announces he has left The Beatles. Today in Scott's history... 2010 - Went downtown, ate lunch at Clifton's, later regretted getting the Teriyaki BBQ chicken. Took the wife to Marshall's, considered buying "Meet The Fockers" DVD for $3.99, but ultimately changed my mind.

Scott's Year in Shirts #99 - "Culver City High Class of '81"

Culver City, CA,  the home of Sony Pictures Studios, or as I like to call it, the maxi pad that keeps Inglewood from bleeding onto Beverly Hills. That's a little L.A. humor for all you non-L.A. readers out there. There's a bunch of names on this Culver City High class of 1981 shirt, but I don't recognize any of them. They probably all got the hell out of Culver City and moved someplace classier, like Mar Vista.

Scott's Year in Shirts #98 - "Italian Village"

Oh, man, I used to go to this place all the time back in Corsicana. Dirt cheap Italian food and ridiculously oversized bread all served up by a man named Ficho who loved faux brick wall paper and apparently had one hell of a cocaine habit. Maybe that's why the place eventually closed and then re-opened as "Italian Villa" (way to scrape the "ge" off the sign, folks) with a completely different owner, chef and menu that paled in comparison. R.I.P. Italian Village, I still think about you every now and then.

Scott's Year in Shirts #97 - "Woo Pig Sooie"

This old Arkansas Razorbacks shirt is about 10 washes away from being indecipherable, so that's why I don't wash it much anymore. I can live with the toothpaste stains, it's that comfortable. I heard that the University of Arkansas recently made a deal with Wal-Mart to provide a free shuttle service between campus and the nearest Supercenter 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. No word if a similar shuttle is provided to the Fayetteville's finest trailer parks.

Scott's Year in Shirts #96 - "Camden Yards"

Continuing with the unintentional theme of baseball shirts circa 1992, here's one from the great city of Baltimore proudly celebrating the inaugural season of their "new" stadium, Camden Yards. I love ballparks. One of these days I'm going to pick a summer and visit all of them. Probably not this summer. I got stuff to do.

Scott's Year in Shirts #95 - "Nolan Ryan"

Opening day! I think the Rangers can really do it this year. I've got a feeling. Nolan's pitching at the top of his game. Juan Gonzalez is going to hit 45 home runs. Ivan Rodriguez should improve in his second year. Bobby Witt's going to re-sign before the trade deadline. We picked up Geno Petralli in the off season, so that should put us over the top! Yup, 1992 is our year!

Scott's Year in Shirts #94 - "Hey, man"

Hey, man. Look what the Easter bunny brought you. Remember that time we went fishing and you caught that big one? Remember when I took that photo? Well hey, man. I put it on a t-shirt for you! Hey man, why don't you wear it to church for Easter? Hey man, sorry about the wrinkles, it's been in my truck underneath some magazines for about a month. Hey man, where are you going? Don't you like it?

Scott's Year in Shirts #93 - "FSD"

Someone at some point decided to take a blank red t-shirt and put the letters "FSD" on it in large black felt letters. They then either died or gave the shirt away for whatever reason. What "FSD" is supposed to mean is anyone's guess. Someone's initials? A secret code? Your guess is as good as mine, and do feel free to guess. I've got all day, and the most original guess wins a prize TBD. That's to be determined.

Scott's Year in Shirts #92 - "Rock Me Sexy Jesus"

In honor of Good Friday, today's shirt is all about Him. And what better way to recognize Him than with this promotional t-shirt from "Hamlet 2", a film that sold for $10 million at the Sundance Film Festival in 2008 and then went on to flop at the box office, bringing in only $5 million during its domestic run. But it did give us this catchphrase...  "Rock me, rock me, rock me sexy Jesus!"

Scott's Year in Shirts #91 - "Do You Believe in Luke Wilson?"

All I could come up with for April Fool's Day was this bizarre shirt that tries to trick you into liking the least talented of the Wilson brothers.  I don't know if I do "believe" in you anymore, Luke, especially since you've decided to make a career out of making awful AT&T commercials. Two pieces of advice - put down the Little Debbies and start working with Wes Anderson again.