Scott's Year in Shirts #31 - "Tiger Cub"

Here's a very comfortable, 80's-era Boy Scouts of America "Tiger Cub" ringer tee. Made to be worn while building fire with sticks, helping the elderly cross the street or while attempting to fend off the pedophilic advances of your scout leader, I prefer to wear it instead while sitting on the couch on a Sunday watching "Oh Brother Where Art Thou?"

Scott's Year in Shirts #30 - "Ben Folds"

I got this shirt when I saw Ben Folds play in Grand Prairie back in 2005. I went to the concert with my buddy Franklin. We drank a bunch of vodka in the parking lot, as though we were preparing to see Judas Priest or something. Then we went inside just in time to see the horrible opening band "The Fray", who thought it would be cute to bring ficus trees out on stage with them. I'm also fairly certain Franklin got some teenage girl's mom's phone number, but the details are sketchy.

Scott's Year in Shirts #29 - "Honey Nut Cheerios Soul Fest"

"Hey, what did you do this weekend?"... "Not much, watched TV. How about you?" ... "Not much. Found a time machine. Went back to 2000. Attended the Honey Nut Cheerios Soul Fest with Gerald Levert, Frankie Beverly and K-Ci and JoJo. Got this awesome t-shirt."...... "Wait, you found a time machine and THAT'S what you did with it?"... "You obviously don't know how much I loved Jodeci, do you?"

Scott's Year in Shirts #28 - "Perot in '92"

What would have happened if Ross Perot were elected president in '92? The world would certainly look different. Texarkana would be the birthplace of a president, Darrell Hammond probably wouldn't have a career, no one would have ever heard of Monica Lewinsky and we'd now all be forced to own Dell computers. Sounded alright until the Dell part. Those things are $599 doorstops!

Scott's Year in Shirts #27 - "Keep The Environment Green"

This old "Shoebox Greetings" t-shirt manages to be both environmentally friendly and selfish at the same time. It's pretty much the exact opposite of me. I really couldn't care less about the environment, in fact, I actively throw plastic bags away just to spite the Earth. Maybe that is selfish, now that I think about it. But I've never been one to beg for money, unless I'm short a few bucks or didn't bring my wallet to the bar. I guess that's been happening a lot lately. Sorry, Josh.

Scott's Year in Shirts #26 - "Square Pegs"

I didn't know what this shirt was all about when I first bought it, I just knew it was really old and had the name of a high school on the front and said "Square Pegs" on the back. I later found out that "Square Pegs" was a short-lived TV show in the early 80's starring a very young Sarah Jessica Parker. And here I thought I was up on all my TV knowledge.

Scott's Year in Shirts #25 - "E. Ballard"

Howdy, I'm E. Ballard, Sierra Hills Super Boss. What does the E stand for, you ask? What the hell do you think it stands for? Damn right, that's what it stands for. What can I do you for? Oh, you come for some of that. Well, you're in luck, cause we just got a shipment in yesterday. You want the regular or the medium? Have a seat, I'll fix you right up.

Scott's Year in Shirts #24- "Halley's Comet"

Hey, remember the last time Halley's Comet came around back in 1986? Me either. I was 7 and too busy playing with my G.I. Joes. And neither does Georgie the cat (also pictured). She wasn't even close to being born yet.  This vintage shirt is mighty comfy, and I often wear it when checking out constellations in my front yard. It doesn't help to have a freeway overpass blocking my view.

Scott's Year in Shirts #23- "Great Northwest"

In addition to all of my t-shirts, "Scott's Year in Shirts" will also include the occasional sweatshirt. I can do this because A. I make the rules and B. no one cares anyway. Here we have a sweatshirt from the early 80's that shows us a very picturesque rendition of the "Great Northwest." Having recently been there myself, I think it's a fairly accurate (if dreamlike) representation. But, in my opinion, you haven't really experienced the "Great Northwest" until you've carried a shotgun outside a bank in the friendly town of Lind, WA. or tromped through some mud in mountainous Ravensdale.

Scott's Year in Shirts #22 - "I'm Shipshape"

I certainly don't feel shipshape after what I ate today. Some muffin bites for breakfast, an In-N-Out #2 combo for lunch and some good ol' La Fogata soft tacos for dinner. For dessert? A whole lot of maxin' and relaxin' on the couch.

Scott's Year in Shirts #21 - "BK"

I've been a big Ben Kweller fan since 2002 after Sha Sha came out. I saw him live for the first time in April of '02 at The Galaxy Club in Deep Ellum, where I personally bought this shirt from his then girlfriend, now-wife Lizzie, who was working the merch table. I probably wore this shirt close to 150 times between then and 2005, then semi-retired it between 2006-2008, but have since started wearing it again. It's a bit faded from the years, but it still serves me well.

Scott's Year in Shirts #20 - "Juneau it's all good"

Did Juneau that Alaska is the largest state in the U.S. in regards to overall land mass? Did Juneau that 2.9 % of Alaskans speak a form of Spanish as their native language? Did Juneau that Major League Baseball pitcher Curt Schilling was born in Anchorage? I'm glad to offer these relatively useless tidbits of information to you, because Juneau how much I value education. That junior college degree in management didn't hang itself on the wall!

Scott's Year in Shirts #19 - "Who am I?"

This "The Great Gonzo" baseball-style shirt from 1981 forces us to look in the mirror and ask ourselves... Who am I... better yet- what am I? Who knew a muppet could be so existential?

Scott's Year in Shirts #18 - "Tip Toe"

Not much to say about this one. It's really old, really thin and really comfortable. Probably from the late 70's, based on the faded tag. I could wear it all day long. Oh wait, I did.

Scott's Year in Shirts #17 - "Quakes"

It was exactly 16 years ago today that it happened. Long before my time living in the San Fernando Valley, the 1994 Northridge earthquake killed 72 people and did $20 billion dollars in damage. Catastrophic, but just a drop in the bucket compared to what is going on in Haiti right now. If you can spare it, give money to the cause, and if you can't, keep those people in your thoughts. Together we can make a difference.

Scott's Year in Shirts #16 "Waiting for the Perfect Woman"

Ah, the eternal quest for love. For some folks there simply is no such thing as "settling", even if it means waiting their entire life for "the one" and ultimately dying while sitting on a park bench, ignored for so long that their body has gone through rigor mortis, decomposition and skeletonization. Man, where is this park that people have walked by for weeks with a dead body in plain sight? I'd be willing to bet it's somewhere in Van Nuys.

Scott's Year in Shirts #15 "1993 San Jose Sumo Basho"

The details of the event are a mystery, but this much is clear: At some point in 1993, a select group of 300-400 pound Asian men gathered in a sports complex in San Jose, CA. and attempted to knock each other out of a circle. Points were awarded. Victories were had. Emotions were at an all time high. And at the end of the day, someone left with a medium-sized t-shirt.

Scott's Year in Shirts #14 - "Paul McCartney"

For all us concert-goers who insist on hitting the merch table, we're all used to getting bilked out of our hard-earned money. Be it a $15 key chain or a $20 tote bag, we'll buy anything if we've drank enough $9 beers. But this shirt, purchased at a Paul McCartney concert in Dallas in 2005, takes the cake. I paid $40 for it. I guess you don't get to be worth $1.2 billion and get to call yourself "Sir" by being bad with money. Still, damn.

Scott's Year in Shirts #13 - "Gone crazy. Back later."

Oh the 80's. They gave us such great catchphrases. "Don't worry be happy!", "Where's the beef?", and the one featured on this shirt, which apparently didn't catch on like its creator probably hoped it would. Boy, nothing says "Gone crazy, back later" like a giant, overweight spinning cat, does it?

Scott's Year in Shirts #12 - "Vision & Courage in the 90's"

The 90's were all about grunge rock, the internet explosion and economic prosperity. And none of these things could've been possible without two things: vision & courage. And to a lesser extent, Pearl Jam. And slap bracelets. Don't forget slap bracelets.

Scott's Year in Shirts #11 - "I ate Jalapenos."

Let this shirt be a cautionary tale to all those pondering eating Jalapenos. It is not advised, especially if you are a stick figure.

Scott's Year in Shirts #10 - "Animal"

"Wo-man!!!!" I bought this shirt in 2007 when the company I was working for at the time sent me to Las Vegas to sell lamps. I stayed drunk most of the time, winning at poker and losing at black jack. I don't remember why or where in Sin City I bought this shirt, but I do remember not selling any lamps in three days.

Scott's Year in Shirts #9 - "London"

When it comes to accents, my British is way better than my Irish, and my Irish is way better than my Australian, and my John Mayer is better than anything. This vintage shirt doesn't do much to improve my British accent, but I like to wear it anyway.

Scott's Year in Shirts #8 - "The Dude Abides"

See, this Lebowski, he called himself "The Dude". Now, "Dude" - there's a name no man would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so darned interestin'. See, they call Los Angeles the "City Of Angels"; but I didn't find it to be that, exactly.

Scott's Year in Shirts #7 - "Runnin Free"

This truck stop doozy not so subtly lets us know what life as a Southern white male is all about: the freedom to get in your 18-wheeler and hit the open road, and the freedom to be chased by giant, Godzilla-sized deer.

Scott's Year in Shirts #6 - "Area's Best Cyclist Series"

Though I don't currently own a bicycle and the extent of my exercise is recreational softball on Tuesday nights, I still like to give the false impression that I'm active, and that's where this shirt comes in. You too can look like a member of "Tailwinds", Santa Maria's best bicycle club, all it takes is a t-shirt.

Scott's Year in Shirts #5 - "Rush"

Very few good things have come out of Canada. Molson Ice, Shannon Tweed and the band Rush. Unfortunately, Rush is still making albums, going on tours and selling t-shirts like this "30th reunion tour" shirt I found at someone's garage sale.

Scott's Year In Shirts #4 - "Lame"

Not sure why someone would spend $4-6 dollar on giant iron-on letters and 30-45 minutes of their life making a shirt to tell the world how lame they are, but thank God they did. I think I got this one at the giant Goodwill in Hollywood, the store once featured in an episode of America's Next Top Model. No straight man should know that, by the way.

Scott's Year in Shirts #3 - "Truckin' Tough"

Willie Nelson sang it best - "Nothing lasts forever but old Fords and a natural stone." I got this shirt from the 80's at a Goodwill in Waco, TX in June of 2009, and I love to wear it while driving around town in my Nissan.

Scott's Year in Shirts #2 - "The Book Company/Big Walker"

This homemade iron-on shirt from the 70's was purchased at a Salvation Army in Van Nuys, CA. I'd like to think "The Book Company" was some type of book store in the San Fernando Valley that probably didn't stay open long, but the employees were so proud that they put their nicknames on the back. This one once belonged to someone named "Big Walker."

Scott's Year in Shirts #1 - "Girl Scouts Take The Lead - Fight Drugs!"

I bought this shirt in the Fall of 2002 at a Goodwill in Frisco, TX. I have worn it weekly since. It is what my wife calls my "mesh" shirt because it is so thin you can almost see through it. This shirt has survived a lot of shit, and its phrase, an 80's Girl Scouts slogan, is made even more ironic by the amount of drugs I've taken while wearing it.