Scott's Year in Shirts #90 - "The Perfect Norwegian"

Today's shirt was worn a whole bunch of times before it found its way to me, so whoever owned it previously must've REALLY thought it was funny. I can't figure out if it's pro-Norwegian or making of fun of Norwegians. Either way, I am not perfect or Norwegian. I'm flawed and Danish. Why the hell couldn't I find that shirt instead?

Scott's Year in Shirts #89 - "Family"

When I think of family, I think of two things: A large group of animals who are seemingly unrelated to each other (a la this shirt), and a television theme song. "Show me that smile again (show me that smile). Don't waste another minute on your crying. We know we're near the end (we know we're near) the best is ready to begin!" Help me out people!

Scott's Year in Shirts #88 - "Escalator Temporarily Stairs"

"I like an escalator because an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator temporarily out-of-order" sign. Just "Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience."" R.I.P Mitch. It's hard to believe it's been five years now.

Scott's Year in Shirts #87- "Colorado, High Country"

So I rolled and a-rambled like a leaf in the wind / Well, I found my fast ladies and some hard livin' men / Well I sometimes went hungry with my pockets all bare / Lord, I sometimes had good luck with money to spare / I made me some friends, Lord, that I won't soon forget /  Some are down under and some are rambling yet / But as for me, I'm headed home / Back to high Colorado never more for to roam.

Scott's Year in Shirts #86 - "Comic Relief III"

I got this Comic Relief III t-shirt without having to give any money to Ethiopia. Does that make me a bad person?  This shirt is from 1989, back when Robin Williams, Whoopi Goldberg and Billy Crystal were still funny. Which makes me wonder, why didn't they ever make a City Slickers 3? Jack Palance lived another 12 years after City Slickers 2 and no one capitalized on it!

Scott's Year in Shirts #85 - "Still Perfect Over 60"

Man, getting old sort of sucks. Back in my early 20's I used to say I didn't think I would make it to 30. Well here I am, 31 now, and I honestly can't imagine turning 60.  I really don't want to be one of those short old men with giant noses and huge ears who can't drive or speak clearly, can't control their bladders and put their car keys in the refrigerator. I already have most of those problems already.

Scott's Year in Shirts #84 - "Ride The Shuttle"

"Ride The Shuttle" - there's a slogan for you. Out here in L.A., it's "Ride The Metro", or as I like to say "Come witness a stabbing." There's nothing wrong with public transportation. It's good for the environment. It's convenient. It's reliable. But there's something unsettling about sitting next to a guy on the subway who smells like paint thinner, is wearing a fur-lined parka in June and is singing a song about tater tots. You ride the shuttle, I'm taking my car.